Nature Abhors a Vacuum

Last month we were busy with soccer and gymnastics. Then soccer practice got moved to the same night as gymnastics and since Katrina's enthusiasm was waning, we decided to stop going to gymnastics. Now instead of being gone 3 evenings a week, it would only be one (as soccer practice was going from 2 nights a week down to 1.)

Then a few days later, Jack fell while playing and broke his little finger. We were told there was to be no more soccer for this year. Now I had all my evenings back...But I don't seem to have anymore time. Instead, the house is now getting a little more attention, the laundry is getting done regularly and I have a little more time to blog. If I stop to think about all the things that fill my day, I just want to lay down and curl up into a tiny ball and disappear. And then when I think of all the things I don't get done everyday... well, I won't even say how that makes me feel.

My problem is I try to do too much. I try to be something for everyone including myself. What a perfect day would look like to me would be to get up at 6, spend 30 minutes on the computer, then 30 minutes with devotionals, then 30-60 minutes exercising. Then an hour gettting up the kids, eating breakfast and showering. Then from 9-12 do school work, then in the afternnon, maybe learn a little art or something along those lines and do some household chores, and me work some (I write ads for a local company that sells on Ebay and I sell on Ebay myself). Then I would fix dinner around 5, watch the news with my husband (he likes it and it is a chance for us to connect), then do dishes while Jack practices piano and Katrina takes a bath, then read stories while Jack takes a bath and then get them to bed and I get som emore odds and ends done, ending up with a little bit of reading time for me.

But that is my perfect day in a world without other things going on. I often oversleep because of being tired. My time on the computer takes more than it should if I have stuff that has sold, questions to answer on Ebay or if there is a lot of interesting news to read. Exercise usually gets dropped as do the devotions. By 9, we are usually at school (unless it is co-op day, nature group day or a field trip). We are usually done by 12 unless the kids are having a hard time focusing and staying on task. Monday afternoons, we go to town, library, store, piano...this takes up the afternoon and when I get home it is time to unload groceries.

Tuesday afternoons, right now we are here, except for this coming Tuesday we are going on a field trip and next Tuesday Jack has a doctor appointment for his broken finger and the next Tuesday my old co-op is having a gathering for closure. Wednesdays we go to co-op. We are getting home around 2:30, but some weeks, Katrina has a friend over or goes to a friends house. Thursday afternoons we are home. Every other Friday afternoon we are home.

The things I miss...playing Nintendo with my kids, playing with my kids in general. Having time with my husband. HAving time to exercise. I need to do this or I am going to work myself into an early grave. But I can't figure out what to give up. I already clean the house minimally. I am in charge of mowing and that season is starting back up...the grass is already about 1 foot tall in places (other places, our yard is bare). I have two picnic tables to stain, a doorway and rabbit hutch to paint. There is luandry every day. There is homeschooling everyday...There is getting groceries...paying bills...etc, etc, etc...

My life is running me instead of me running it. I am on a merry-go-round that doesn't want to stop and everytime something gives way...it seems something else fills its spot. I know many others struggle with this too. I was hoping that writing this would give me more insight or help, but it doesn't. So...if any of my readers (all 20 of them last week) have any suggestions, let me know... I could use some good suggestions.