« 2007 Bloggy Recap | Main | New Year's Quiche (Also Known as After Christmas Quiche) »
WFMW: Prepping Children for New and Not-So New Situations
Well, here we are...back to WFMW hosted by Shannon at Rocks In My Dryer!
I hope each and everyone of you had a lovely Christmas break!
I was visiting a friend's blog (Scribbit) and she was talking about a situation that had occured during their Christmas celebration. You know...child gets gift and child doesn't like gift...This is one of the many things that can happen when you have children. They are after all children and it is our job to help them learn social manners. Now, we won't always be able to anticipate every situation and then we will have to have ways in mind to respond, but some things we can head off at the pass.
For instance, my mom and stepdad's home is full of antique toys, and other interesting antique items (tea cups, butter churns) that just beg for children to look at them and touch them. They also are very particular about their home...don't slide chairs across the floor for instance. So before we go, I remind them of how they are to behave while at Grandma's. Because we don't have these same issues in our home, it is not something they are used to.
Another area I am working on with my daughter is getting her and her friend to go to the bathroom and get a drink of water between Sunday School and Church. They had been getting into a habit of getting up during the service to do these things. Now they are getting into a better habit and a less disruptive one.
I started prepping my kids for situations after watching my best buddy do it. And sometimes the things even seemed like things a child would know (like you don't open the other kid's birthday presents), but I realized that some of these situations don't occur regularly and we may have to share that reminder with our child 20 times, 50 times or 100 times before we can be sure they've got it. And wouldn't you much rather spend a few moments before prepping them than having to deal with the fall-out.
As I said earlier, this system is not fool proof. You can't anticipate everything that might arise or sometimes you might forget or sometimes, despite your reminder bad behavior occurs anyway. At this point, you need to evaluate based on what's going on. Stopping the child is high on the list. Apologies to the one offended are always good. Most people understand children are still learning how to behave. A whisper or as my kids say 'the look' can also be affective (as long as they are looking at you when you are giving the look...)
One suggestion to Michelle's situation was instead of lecturing on how what they did was wrong, try to put the child in the adult's shoes. Such as...how would you feel if someone said they hated your gift you had picked especially for them or how would you feel if someone came up and told you you were ugly. I agree that this is most effective. Kids understand having their feelings hurt and this is a way to help them see how they can have the power to hurt someone else's feelings.
If all else fails...pretend you don't know the offending child...it's never worked for me because my child will come running up saying 'Mommy, Mommy...' but I have hopes...the next time it might work out!
Previous Popular WFMW Posts:
WFMW: Snowflakes - Paper and Virtual
WFMW: Being Prepared - Book and Cards
WFMW: Keeping Up With Library Books
WFMW: Grocery Shopping, Lists, Coupons, Sales
Works for Me Wednesday: Saving Money
WFMW:Our Children's Chores and Allowance
Works For Me Wednesday: Adding income to our Single Income Family
0 TrackBacks
Listed below are links to blogs that reference this entry: WFMW: Prepping Children for New and Not-So New Situations.
TrackBack URL for this entry: http://www.whattofix.com/blog/mt-tb.cgi/1529
This is one of the best things I have found that help my children, even though they are now teens, it helps them in unique situations for their age. It does take patience when they are younger but eventually they do catch on!
Great ideas! We had many opportunities to instruct my 3 year old on social niceties during the Christmas season. After his grandparents gave him a squirrel that sang "I ain't gettin' nuttin' for Christmas" he freaked. They thought it was funny. He thought it was true. We talked about how when someone gives you a gift (unless it's a mean squirrel--then you deserve to have it thrown at you!) you say Thank You! I love it! and hug the giver. He actually did this with every subsequent gift--even the "boring" blanket I made him!
Those are such important things for a child to learn and kudos to you for helping them learn them. Having worked with children all of my adult life, I think most parents just think kids should automatically know these things, but they have to be taught. Great tips!