Melissa's Idea Garden

The middle of December, Tess called to tell us that they had found another tumor in her body. Over the last three years, Tess has had 4 surgeries to remove tumors that are growing within. She has liposarcoma. She had one 24 years ago that when they removed it was 35 pounds and she lost one kidney. She went another 20 years without problem, but in then there was an 18 pound one and since then they have kept close eye on her so they could perform surgery as soon as possible.

She told us her doctor was going to do another CAT scan in March to see what the growth was before they did another surgery. Then she called back and said that the doctor had called again saying she needed chemo because the tumor was on her liver and couldn't be operated on. And she had an appointment the end of the month. Still, she was saying this was non-cancerous...

Tess does not hear well nor does Johnny. Both come from an age when you didn't ask questions of the physicians and that the physician knew best. We are not sure what when on during an appointment with an oncologist the end of December or how their options were explained to them, but Tess called us and told us they would be installing a port in her chest and that they would be giving her chemotherapy which would involve her being in the hospital for four days at a time and then home between sessions.

My grandmother went through chemotherapy and it did nothing to extend her life and everything to make the end of her life horrible. She was ill, couldn't eat, her hair all fell out...all of the things she had enjoyed earlier in life had been taken away. We were concerned because our research indicated that Tess' cancer was not really affected by chemo and we knew how hard chemo would be on her. We got permission from Tess and Johnny to call the nurse, but she told us very little and when we asked what the chances were that this would help her, the nurse was vague and said, they had treated sarcomas all the time. Tess and Johnny were set on their course and there was nothing we could do about it. Ultimately, each person has to make their own decision about these things. Later, we have learned, that they really didn't understand what was going on and that they were still thinking of this situation like the others they had been through, but it wasn't the same because her liver was being attacked this time.

So, the second week in January, Tess went through chemotherapy. Johnny was able to stay with her. All seemed to be going well. She gained a lot of fluid weight while in the hospital and the puffiness made her feel like not eating, but other than that, she was okay.

She came home. Her voice was so different on the phone. But she said she was doing okay. Not nauseous, just couldn't eat because of the swelling. We later learned that her throat was sore as well. And that after a few days at home she had lost over 40 pounds.

Thursday afternoon, the kids and I had just come out of the movies when my cell phone rang. It was Sharon, Johnny's daughter. She was calling to say that Tess was in the hospital. That she was running a high fever and was delirious and the doctor had told her that he didn't think she would make it. Sharon had tried calling Daniel, but had been unable to reach him. I tried calling him and it was the second or third time before he picked up and whispered he was on the phone. Sue, a neighbor of Tess, had called to tell Daniel the same thing I was trying to tell him.

By 6:30, we had all of our ducks in a row and were headed to Roanoke to pick up Bruce. We wanted to drive through the night and get here as soon as possible, but bodies are weak and by 11 I was exhausted. Bruce took over and we managed to get another 3 hours down the road - almost into Georgia before pulling over and getting a hotel room. We got a few hours of sleep and headed off again. We arrived in Lakeland about 4 pm. Tess had just been taken down to have a sonogram done. They were needing to see how much fluid was in her lungs and how her swallowing was going. She was supposed to be back to the room in one hour, it was 3 because they were backed up with transporters in the hospital.

While we waited we learned that she had many blisters on her skin on her body. These are like quarter sized blood blisters that stand 1/2" or more out from her skin. This was the infection in her body trying to eat its way out. She had no platelets or white blood cells. She had been admitted with pneumonia and a urinary tract infection. The blisters on her skin were also in her throat and esophagus and her vocal chords were 'stuck' open which was inhibiting her speech and meant she couldn't swallow anything by mouth for fear of it going into her lungs.

With all of the antibiotics she was on, they had been able to bring down her fever and her blood pressure. the day before it had been 230/120. We were told that if Sharon hadn't arrived to see them when she did and demanded home health to send the nurse ASAP, Tess would've died that day. Johnny had been told that the local hospital couldn't care for Tess because she was a chemo patient. So he took that to mean, he couldn't take her there for anything. What it meant was they couldn't handle chemo side affects, but that illness was a different story. She was transported an hour away to Lakeland hospital which is where Sharon lives.

Tess was finally brought back to the room. She was alert and so happy to see us. We had to keep our distance though because she wanted hugs and couldn't have them because we didn't want her to be exposed to any more germs. We stayed at the hospital for awhile. We were tired and of course shell-shocked and grateful that we had been able to see her and that she had made it through the night. We found a local hotel for the night.

Yesterday we were back at the hospital around 9:15. Tess was talking a little more even though she wasn't supposed to be as it runs the risk of infection and it just hurts her vocal chords. She was more alert and sitting up. They took her down for some swallow tests/sonogram to see how things were looking inside her throat and esophagus and lungs.

We met with her physician and he was very unhappy. Turns out that he had told them in the past that chemotherapy was not an option. That was why he sent her to a surgeon. Either Tess and Johnny didn't hear that or didn't remember it. He told us yesterday that with her age and her one kidney that chemo was not a viable option and should never have been done.

We can only speculate that when they went to the oncologist that he said this was an option, that was all they heard and so they said 'okay'. I am hoping that the oncologist wasn't just providing chemo so he could add to the hospital's and his bottom line. I am giving them the benefit of the doubt...though I really want to go there and have more than a few choice words with them.

About an hour later, we met with the oncologist here at the hospital and he said that now that Tess was stable they would be transferring her to Moffit as that was where she was receiving chemo from and they had the responsibility of taking care of her. Sharon, Dan and I said 'no way'. She doesn't want more chemo. We don't want her back there. And so then we were told, if there was to be no more chemo, her doctor would probably be willing to continue with her care (as far as he was concerned, she had acted against his advice and so he wasn't going to be able to continue to provide her with care).

So, between the first doctor consult and the second one, we had been talking about Johnny and Tess were going to have to leave their home and go to an assisted living facility and what all would have to be done to make that happen. After the second doctor consult, we realized that was no longer an option. Tess will be transferred to hospice if she is well enough to leave the hospital for around the clock skilled nursing care. Johnny cannot live on his own and will probably be staying with his daughter Sharon who lives here in Lakeland for the foreseeable future.

Tess and Johnny always had a plan. Johnny is 14 years older than Tess and they always assumed Tess would outlive Johnny. They are not prepared for the very real possibility that it is not going to work out that way. As we explained to them what their options were yesterday...all Tess could say was she didn't go somewhere that Johnny couldn't go and all Johnny could say was he was supposed to die first. I cannot tell you how heartbreaking these conversations have been.

The rest of the day, we took turns sitting with Tess and trying to figure out how to make all of the rest of this happen. We had our moments with Tess to tell her how much we loved her and how much she means to each of us. I am so grateful that we have the opportunity to tell her these things. To sit with her and hold her hand. To help her with small things like a cool cloth for her face.

We don't know how much time we have Tess or Johnny with us. Sharon and Daniel and I all agreed there would be no more of them going to see a doctor without someone with them to understand. Yesterday after the first doctor visited and talked with us, Sharon asked Tess if she understood what he said and Tess shook her head and said 'no.' If you have elderly parents, be sure that you or someone goes with them to doctor appointments. They need an advocate to ask questions and to understand what they are being told.

Tess should not be in the hospital right now...and it happened because they didn't understand what was going on with her even though we tried to tell them. It is hard to take a stand against your parents whom you love and respect, but keep in mind, sometimes, we do know best.

So, today, the kids and I are going to head back home unless something drastic happens this morning. Daniel is still trying to decide what course he will take right now.

Posted by Melissa Markham at 7:31 AM | Permalink

Six years ago, the rovers Spirit and Opportunity landed on Mars. Their mission...spend 90 days traveling across Mars finding out information about this planet that has fascinated us for centuries. 6 years later, both Spirit and Opportunity are still working.

It has been an incredible success story for NASA. Unfortunately, Spirit has become stuck in a sandtrap on Mars. After months of trying to help the Spirit wiggle free, the scientists at NASA have made it official. Spirit won't be roving anymore. But the news is not all bleak. They are working to adjust the direction of the solar panels and hoping that Spirit will surived the Martian winter. If so, there are still experiments that can be done from inside the sand trap in the crater where Spirit now resides. Instead of being focused on moving Spirit, the scientists can now focus on other experiments. Well done NASA and Spirit! Hope to see you in 6 months after winter has ended!

Posted by Melissa Markham at 2:55 AM | Permalink

DEMOCRAT

You have two cows.
Your neighbor has none.
You feel guilty for being successful.
You push for higher taxes so the government can provide cows for everyone.

REPUBLICAN

You have two cows.
Your neighbor has none.
So?

SOCIALIST

You have two cows.
The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor.
You form a cooperative to tell him how to manage his cow.

COMMUNIST

You have two cows.
The government seizes both and provides you with milk.
You wait in line for hours to get it.
It is expensive and sour.

CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE

You have two cows.
You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of cows.

BUREAUCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE

You have two cows.
Under the new farm program the government
pays you to shoot one, milk the other, and then pour the milk down
the drain.

AMERICAN CORPORATION

You have two cows.
You sell one, lease it back to yourself and do an IPO on the 2nd one.
You force the two cows to produce the milk of four cows.
You are surprised when one cow drops dead.
You spin an announcement to the analysts
stating you have downsized and are reducing expenses.
Your stock goes up.

FRENCH CORPORATION

You have two cows.
You go on strike because you want three cows.
You go to lunch and drink wine.
Life is good.

JAPANESE CORPORATION

You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the
size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.
They learn to travel on unbelievably crowded trains.
Most are at the top of their class at cow school.

GERMAN CORPORATION

You have two cows.
You engineer them so they are all blond,
drink lots of beer, give excellent quality milk, and run a hundred miles an hour.
Unfortunately they also demand 13 weeks of vacation per year.

ITALIAN CORPORATION

You have two cows but you don't know where they are.
You break for lunch.
Life is good.

RUSSIAN CORPORATION

You have two cows.
You drink some vodka.
You count them and learn you have five cows.
You drink some more vodka.
You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
The Russian Mafia shows up and takes over however many cows you really have.

TALIBAN CORPORATION

You have all the cows in Afghanistan, which are two.
You don't milk them because you cannot touch
any creature's private parts.
You get a $40 million grant from the US
government to find alternatives to milk production but use the money
to buy weapons.

IRAQI CORPORATION

You have two cows.
They go into hiding.
They send radio tapes of their mooing.

POLISH CORPORATION

You have two bulls.
Employees are regularly maimed and killed tempting to milk them.

BELGIAN CORPORATION

You have one cow.
The cow has Multiple Personality Disorder (MPD).
Sometimes the cow thinks he's French, other times he's Flemish.
The Flemish cow won't share with the French cow.
The French cow wants control of the Flemish cow's milk..
The cow asks permission to be cut in half.
The cow dies happy..

FLORIDA CORPORATION

You have a black cow and a brown cow.
Everyone votes for the best looking one.
Some of the people who actually like the brown one best accidentally vote for the black one.
Some people vote for both.
Some people vote for neither.
Some people can't figure out how to vote at all.
Finally, a bunch of guys from out-of-state
tell you which one you think is the best looking cow.

CALIFORNIA CORPORATION

You have millions of cows.
They make real California cheese.
Only five speak English.
Most are illegal.
Arnold likes the ones with the big udders.

Posted by Melissa Markham at 9:10 PM | Permalink

Because I have been reading Sarah Palin's book "Going Rogue," I have been thinking and talking about politics. Btw, I finished the book today and I recommend it. Sarah is definitely one of the 'common' people and her story is an interesting. Even more interesting to me was the way the Republican campaign was run.

Now back to Dave Barry. Here is a quote I ran across and thought I would share it for a chuckle!

"The Democrats seem to be basically nicer people, but they have demonstrated time and again that they have the management skills of celery. They're the kind of people who'd stop to help you change a flat, but would somehow manage to set your car on fire. I would be reluctant to trust them with a Cuisinart, let alone the economy.

The Republicans, on the other hand, would know how to fix your tire, but they wouldn't bother to stop because they'd want to be on time for Ugly Pants Night at the country club."

Posted by Melissa Markham at 8:59 PM | Permalink

When I was growing up, I don't remember ever going to a public library. I was a frequent visitor to my school libraries. I read all of the biographies the library had to offer on women when I was in elementary school. I found them fascinating. My parents bought me Nancy Drew books and Trixie Belden books and as I got older, my mom and I were often at Givens, the local used bookstore, picking up gothic romances for me.

After I got out of college, I began to learn to make some use of the local public library. Books on tape, video rentals, and more books than I could read. Over the next twenty years, I had an on again, off again relationship with books. When I was writing, my local library was my best friend...especially because of interlibrary loans!  While doing research for books, I saw all kinds of programs for children so when Jack and Katrina were old enough we began to participate in those. And the piles of books we would bring home...I read three stories to the kids each night. We would regularly leave the library with a stack of 20-30 books. 

Jack is not a big reader, but he enjoys being able to check out books on CD from the library. Katrina and I love going to the library and have made it a weekly ritual. We go, find a comfy chair and read a book. It's quiet. There are no phones ringing, no chores interfering...just quiet reading time. We had such a moment today and I hope we have many more.

Posted by Melissa Markham at 3:30 PM | Permalink

My daughter is a pack rat. And I say that with deep love, affection and more than a touch of annoyance...She keeps everything! She has toys that belonged to her when she was two that she doesn't want to get rid of (fortunately my mom has storage space for them). She can't pass a yard sale or thrift shop without rescuing some poor stuffed animal from it's unloved, unwanted status. Toy breaks? You would think we could throw it away...only if I can prove the broken bits are dangerous. Otherwise they must be kept in case the parts can at some point be used in some other fashion...say building a clubhouse. I guess I should be glad that my daughter is the consummate recycler! If only we had the space...

She can't keep her room clean. Part of it is her nature...she has a tendency to get stuff out and leave it out when she is done (an ongoing battle as I am the exact opposite - but she gets both the clutter tendency and the pack rat habits from her father). The other reason she can't keep her room clean is there isn't enough for all of her stuff! She finally got tired of the stuffed animals covering her bunk beds, but she wasn't willing to let them go...so, we have two big plastic tubs and three garbage bags in her closet full of stuffed animals. There are two other plastic tubs - one holds dress up items and one holds blankets. Then there is a dresser for clothes, a dresser for hair stuff and other small stuff/souvenirs. She has a book shelf filled with books, a hamster cage, and other odds and ends. She has another book shelf with LPS items and another hamster cage and two jewelry boxes she has been given. And in the middle of the floor, there is a box of more odds and ends...pokemon cards, hairdresser play stuff, papers....so today, we picked up some clear shoeboxes from Walmart for 94 cents each. We will sort the odds and ends and put the boxes neatly on the book shelf. Hoping that for awhile...she will be able to keep her room clean.

However, I am afraid the 9' x 10' room is going to explode!

Posted by Melissa Markham at 4:31 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

The Contenders:

Spiny Dogfish Shark and Giant Pacific Octopus.

Who do you think will win? Watch this amazing video to find out! 

Posted by Melissa Markham at 10:16 AM | Permalink

I love my Dad and have long realized that he is one of the smartest people I know. Over the years, he has come up with many great ideas, some of which have come to pass. For instance, my dad thought of inventing the artifical tree with light bulbs already on the branches long before it ever came to be.

Tonight as we were chatting, he shared with me another great idea and I am going to share it here just in case the power's that be are listening!

My father has worked hard all of his life. When I was growing up, he worked a 9-5 job, then he built houses on the side. Later, he switched to just building houses and even today, with my 64 year old father, often puts in 12 hour or more days. It frustrates him that the government takes part of his hard earned money to pay for people who won't get a job. Now, don't get on your high horse...neither he nor I are talking about the people who have lost job during this current economic situation. But here's Dad's idea.

He periodically has to take a drug test where he works. Many company's do this now as standard procedure. So, if he has to take a drug test to keep his job, why don't welfare recipients have to take a drug test to receive their assistance. If drug use is evident, then no assistance is given.

I wonder if someone in Washington will read this and give this idea a whirl? Or if it would be too politically incorrect because the reason these people are on drugs is because they are down-trodden by society?

I say 'bah' to that possibility! If anyone has an excuse to take drugs to escape, it would be the hard working individuals who keep this country together. They get up 5 days a week and spend most of their day working in one capacity or another and putting up with all of the stresses that entails. Then they come home and sit around the kitchen table with their checkbook in hand and wonder how they are going to pay all of the bills this month because the expenses keep going up and the checks keep shrinking. So if there is someone who has a 'reasonable' excuse to use drugs, it is the hard working middle class, not the ones sitting at home watching television all day after they pick up their government assistance.

Posted by Melissa Markham at 7:47 PM | Permalink

I still follow interesting news from National Geographic. My favorite articles are about new species being found or interesting animals.  So, today, I hit a twofer. The link will take you to some photos of amazing new species of animals. One of the photos says the critter in that photo was found in Ecuador. I am guessing they all were, but they don't all say. Anyway, here is my favorite!

Isn't that little guy amazing? The glass frog lacks pigmentation, so you can see how everything inside is working! I think that is soooo cool!  Apparently there are 150 species of glass frog.   And here is another interesting link with information about the glass frog. Enjoy!

Posted by Melissa Markham at 2:04 PM | Permalink

I did not vote for President Obama. I did not think he had the experience needed to hold the highest office in the land. He is smart, but his smarts are book smarts. And book smarts are not enough. He makes a pretty speech. He looks good on camera, though like many other presidents before him, the grey in his hair has grown exponentially since he took office a year ago. He is naive. Or at least he was when he took the office of President. He thought he could bring about change just by saying it. He thought that being the first black President of the U.S. would mean change was inevitable. But instead of getting people to work together, he and the Democratic Party have been ramming their agenda down the throats of the rest of the people in the country. And last week, the country fought back with the vote in Massachussetts.

While I did not vote for Obama, I was hoping that the years with him as leader would help to bring our country closer together. I hoped he really could get in there and make a difference.The divide in this country between the conservatives and liberals has grown larger than the Grand Canyon. The urbanites, who lean to the liberal side view the rural inhabitants as stupid, bigoted, and backward. The rurals, who tend to lean towards the conservative end of the spectrum are outraged at the liberals who they see as lazy people who don't know the meaning of hard work and who are trying to undermine the basic principles of our country.

Guess what...it's not black and white and both sides are wrong. We all need one another. Much like the North and South back in the 1800s, we are two sides that make part of a whole. Each side has strengths and weaknesses and if we would stop letting lobbyists and politicians divide us, we could come together and become the better nation for it. Instead we are fighting amongst ourselves like children and we are letting the media drive a wedge between us.

It has become a game of tit for tat. The Republicans mistreated the Democrats when they were in control. When the Democrats came to office, they did the same and said, 'well they did it first.' Come on...are you children or grown men and women?

Someone is going to have to be brave, step up, roll up their sleeves and say 'let's work together'.

And then someone else is going to have to make a stand and say..."Yep! We are here at the request of the public. They voted for us. They pay our salary. We need to find out what it is they want, then we need to figure out how to please the most people. We need to stop making this a peacock show where we all strut around trying to outshine the other. We need to get down to the business of building a government that the people want."

My kids and I have been studying some about the American Revolution lately. I hope that our country doesn't have to resort to another revolution to bring us all together, but things need to change. America stands on the beliefs of the rights of the people. America led the way by creating a government that was formed by the people and was supposed to work for the people. And America led the way by creating a Bill of Rights that said what the government could not to do the people. Yet, instead of continuing to be a beacon of light and leading the way in this world, we have become a country of bickering children who can only see things one way - theirs. I know those who will vote along party lines regardless of the candidates. The politicians and media have done their job well. And we have become lazy. Why try to figure out what the politician stands for? Why try to determine who will make the better leader? Why use our brains at all? Just ask the question...who is from which party, then pick the party that you have become brainwashed to follow.

WAKE UP! We need fresh blood. We need a new strong 3rd party. We need to stop business as usual in Washington! We need people who believe in America. We need people who will listen to their constituents. We need people who spend their time in office concentrating on making our country a better place instead of spending their time if office thinking about how they can position themselves to win the next election. Our country desparately needs term limits! 6 years for the President with no chance at re-election. Then he can spend all of his time working on his job, not worrying about getting re-elected. The same thing for senators and representatives. Think of the money our country would save because these servants, and that is what they are supposed to be, would be spending their time in office actually working, not seeking photo ops and impressive interviews.

I started writing this post with the thought in mind that I am sorry that President Obama's desire for change has hit a brick wall. He, along with others in the past, came into Washington hoping to change things, yet here we are...business as usual. So my post evolved into my rambling thoughts of the changes we need to make if our country is to go forward. Or we can continue to sit and spin our wheels, changing leaders every few years, and having more and more hard feelings rise up among Americans... And while we are bickering among ourselves, other countries will grow and surpass us. And some countries, or the terrorists hiding in them, will take advantage of our division and our business as usual attitude and weaken us even more.

Posted by Melissa Markham at 3:00 PM | Permalink

Two things I have learned while homeschooling is that there is no one way to homeschool and that there is no such thing as a typical day. We have a 'schedule' we shoot for, but we miss it as often as we attain, it maybe more so. Things come up...and it is always different stuff. One year, it seemed like our life was just full of life stuff that always had to be taken care of.  One year, the kids weren't happy with the chosen 'curriculum', so we had to drop back and punt. One year, we were traveling a lot. This year, there seems to have been more than the normal number of illnesses.

But on our typical day, here is what we do. We try to get up between 6 and 7. From the time we get up until 9, we each have things we like to do. Katrina needs that time to wake up. But somedays, she wakes up, ready to go and gets all of her chores for the day done before school starts (pets fed, animals groomed, shower taken). I aim to have some devotional time and exercise. I usually have computer time and some straightening up chores to do so we can sit down and do school work. Jack...well, Jack gets a shower and pays Runescape on the computer.

From 9-12, we do school work. From 9-9:45, we study History (we are using Story of the World and are in the third year). From 9:45-10:15, the kids do science. Jack is studying a earth science text book and Katrina is working on a 4-H presentation regarding invasive species. From 10:15-11 is handwriting and grammar and spelling(Katrina). From 11-12 is math. Afternoons that we manage to be here, Jack is working on learning Latin using Rosetta Stone. He is currently reading the book "What Color is My Parachute" so he can get an idea of where his strengths are and what careers might interest him. Katrina spends her afternoons reading and learning typing.  I spend my afternoons doing a variety of things. These are on the typical days. But our afternoons often end up being spent other ways. Tuesday afternoons are piano lesson times. Every other Thursday afternoon we have 4-H. On Wednesday afternoons we have been going to the library and spending time there and going to the grocery store.

So far, Mondays and Fridays, we are mostly at home. So there, you have it...a typical day at the Markham house!

Posted by Melissa Markham at 10:07 AM | Permalink

When I first started going to Bethlehem Baptist Church 2 1/2 years ago, I was impressed that they had a minister who had been there for 16 years. I had been in several churches where ministers moved on after two or three years and I was excited to find a church whose Pastor had been with for so long. Last June, our pastor announced his resignation. This was a shock to many of us in the congregation. He and his wife were well loved by the congregation and many of the younger people had known them all their lives. But he said God had called him to go elsewhere.

So, the search for a new minister began. We found an interim pastor fairly quickly. Pastor Crewe and his wife have served our church for about 5 months. They are lovely people and have done a good job of helping us to move on from our grief and have kept us from chaos.

Tonight we got to meet our potential new pastor at a meal at the church. Our pulpit committee has spent the last several months reading resumes, listening to sermons, interviewing candiates. They felt like Darren Miller and his family would be a good match for our church. Tonight we got to meet Darren and Catherine and their children Jesse and Katie. We enjoyed a fine meal that only a group of church women can put together. Then Darren told us about himself and his family. He answered our questions with openness and sincerity.

I know it had to be a bit nerve-wracking for him and his family. How many jobs does a whole family go along for the interview? But, he handled it well and shared some funny stories with us about his growing up. Tomorrow, he will preach for us and then we will vote. Another nerve-wracking experience for him and his family to be sure.

I hope God will guide all of us to create the outcome he wants so we can go in the direction he would have us go.

Posted by Melissa Markham at 7:33 PM | Permalink

So...as I try to catch this blog up on what we have been doing  - I'll just give an update on the kids. Jack is now 13...another teenager in the house! Jack loves history and will be starting highschool next year. We had been debating the public school option, because, at least here in VA, if you don't start the child in 9th grade, but start them later, they end up being started as 9th graders, regardless of what proof you bring in with you that they have completed certain classes.

Our options were to send him to the highschool whose district we are in, but it is a high school not well known for its academic program. Or I could drive him to a different high school in our county without paying tuition, but that is 1/2 drive each way...so 2 hours in the car each day and still trying to homeschool Katrina and get everything else done. Or we could go the online classes route, but where we live, we don't have broadband, so right now that's not really working for us. Or we could go with Community College. Right now, we are looking towards keeping him home and teaching him here and when he turns 14 getting him signed up at the Community College for things like Geometry, Chemistry and such. We just weren't real happy with our public school options as we examined them. Jack enjoys studying history, is struggling a bit with algebra, finds science interesting and has made leaps and bounds with his knowledge of grammar and his handwriting this year. Jack has never been particularly good at handwriting (neither are his dad or one of his older brothers), so we went the learn how to type route. But now, he is learning cursive and is doing pretty well with it. I don't think that in another five years, anyone will know whether he learned it in 3rd grade or 8th. Another one of those wonderful advantages of homeschooling! Jack is active in our church youth group and is still taking piano lessons. He enjoys playing for church services. He prefers listening to audio books as opposed to reading them and has just finished the Lord of the Rings books and is now starting Eragon. He also enjoys Awanas.

Katrina is our extra creative child. She will be 10 in April and is dreading it because she doesn't want to get her 10 year booster!  She is always trying to figure out ways to start a business and make money. This past Christmas she received a BubbleGum Machine with the words 'Kat's Kandies' on it and we placed it in the local beauty shop. After two weeks, she had made 14.50 and was positively thrilled!  She also has just started her own blog recently here at HSB. She likes writing, reading, singing, and acting in plays she creates. She also loves animals. She loves reading about them and we have several pets, pretty much because of her. She is in 4th grade this year and she doesn't like history and she isn't crazy about grammar. She likes to write, she just doesn't want to worry about the rules. I am hoping this will get better as she matures. She is currently club secretary of our 4-H group and she enjoys going to Awanas. She is very social and would like every day to be a have a friend over day, but because we are a bit off the beaten path, that isn't always possible.

Posted by Melissa Markham at 6:07 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)

Last week, my mother let me know that the 92 Methodist Churches in this district would be meeting at Jefferson Forest High School this past Monday to put together 100,000 meals that would be going to Haiti. This was done with the help of the organization Stop Hunger Now. The next day, she emailed and told me they were going to try and put together 140,000 meals. The Methodist Churches were looking for volunteers and donations.

Monday at 3 pm, everyone convened at JFHS. The count on volunteers? 2500 plus people - some who came from as far away as Richmond. There were so many people that they had to ask people in the packing lines to leave so that new people could come in and have a chance to volunteer. At one point, they were putting together 10,000 bags in 10 minutes. When all was said and done, 210,000 bags had been put together.

30,000 meals were already put together at a warehouse in the area.
The 'ingredients' for 140,000 meals were brought to JFHS.
210,00 meals were made.

God is indeed still in the business of doing miracles.

This slide show will give you an inside view of what the event looked like.

Posted by Melissa Markham at 4:45 PM | Permalink

In 2005, I was asked to join the staff of the Lynchburg, VA blog. The person who had started the blog belonged on the Lynchburg Freecycle group which I was the owner and moderator of at the time. He asked me to join his writing. I had connections with the Homeschool Group in the area and I guess he liked my moderating style. I worked on the Lynchburg Virginia blog for about a year, but it became too time consuming. We became obsessed with getting our ranking up and producing material others wanted to read. We were near the top of pack, and I was feeling overwhelmed with having to come up with something new and intelligent every day, so I gracefully bowed out. That blog is still up and though noone has posted on it since September of 2007, it still has a page rank of 3. Not too shabby.

About 4 months after I quit writing for the Lynchburg Virginia blog, I was on vacation in Williamsburg. My mom and stepfather have a timeshare there and the kids and I were chilling out, enjoying the history of the area and enjoying relaxing before the fire. I have been compelled to write since I was in elementary school - poetry, stories, newspaper articles for school, and in almost every job I ever held, there was room for me to use my creative writing skills. I missed blogging and I missed having people come by and tell me I had written something interesting...soooo....I found HSB. I don't remember how at this point, but I fell in love with the community here. I got to make friends from around the country and learned a lot of interesting tidbits about homeschooling and how there are so many ways of doing things. But, then I grew frustrated. HSB was growing by leaps and bounds and as they dealt with upgrading their system, I often had problems with writing posts that would not get published and would vanish into nowhere. Or I would try to comment on others blogs and then get thrown off. I didn't have a lot of time or patience for this, so my hubby fixed me up with my own blog and my name was the URL. I was pretty pleased with that! 

So Melissa's Idea Garden was born. Actually it was Yesterday's Hopes at first because I gave it the same name as my store name on eBay.  I was big into eBay there for awhile until all the changes and the declining profits. Then I changed my blogs name to Melissa's Idea Garden. I also started writing adds for various online companies that pay you to do that sort of thing...you know write and ad with hyperlinked text in your post. I can't even say there names here, because after I had done that for about 4 months and was up to making 1000.00 a month (no lie - but I worked hard for that), Google did a big smack down. Anyone who was working for these sites had a page rank drop to 0. I was a 5 at the time on my other blog and I had worked hard to get it up there. I was frustrated.  I ended up deleting all of my ads and all mention of those paying websites and only now am I back up to a page ranking of 3. It would be higher if I put more effort into, but life ebbs and flows and I haven't been in the mood to blog lately. Maybe it is because I blogged daily on our fabulous trip this fall to Australia and New Zealand. Or maybe it was because I had friends who  got me addicted to playing Farmville, Fishville and some other games. I was having so much fun with that, I spent all my computer time there.

My 9 year old daughter, however can't play FB because I won't let her put in a fake birthday. It astonishes me as to how many people do just that. And like me, she is creative. She loves to write and she loves interacting with others. So I had a brain storm yesterday....why not set her up with a HSB blog. I knew it was a good community and an easy blog site to use now that the kinks had been worked out. So last night, we got Kat's Korner up and running.  It made me look around my blog and make some updates and remember how much I enjoyed being here. So I am back. I am not sure how exactly I will keep up with two blogs, but I know when the writing is flowing, I must follow along!

Posted by Melissa Markham at 7:40 AM | Permalink

Katrina has joined the wonderful land of homeschool blogger over at Kat's Korner. I know she would love it if you stopped by and said hello!

Posted by Melissa Markham at 3:52 PM | Permalink

I have often heard it said that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. We see this when people imitate celebrity hairstyles and fashions. We see this when our children latch onto an older friend or a popular child and begin to imitate them. It is their way of being accepted, being part of the pack, fitting in. And it is their way of telling the person they are looking up to that 'Hey, I think your style rocks.'

I have also said 'imitation is the sincerest form of flattery' when my children get on one another's nerves. You know...the big brother sits around copying everything the little sister is saying... or vice versa? Or a child is copying a teenager's words or actions and it is driving the teenager crazy. This statement is a two-edged sword in this case. If it is the older one 'mocking' the younger one or trying to annoy them by copying what they say, they shut up pretty quickly...after all, they aren't actually trying to flatter the younger child. Not at all, they are trying to annoy the younger child! In the case of the younger imitating the teen, it helps the teen take a deep breath and think...'okay, this little kid thinks I am cool...guess I can live with it.'

But there is another side of imitation that we tend to not think about. That is our child imitating us. How many times have you heard your child say a scathing remark to someone, only to realize they heard it from you? Much like Ralphie in A Christmas Story the child knows where they heard the scathing remark (or bad word or saw the bad habit), but if asked, they might not want to tell.

However to the honest parent, we know. We are looking at the mirror of ourselves. Sometimes that image is flattering and sometimes....well sometimes, it is enough to make us want to hang our heads in shame.

What got me thinking about this is that I often underestimate how my own energy and inclinations can affect others in the house. If I am upbeat, it tends to ripple through the family. If I am snarly, well, guess what, snarly comes back to me. Last week, I was all a bustle. I was up on time, took time for my devotions, exercised, got lots of stuff done here at home...was a whirlwind of activity. And what I saw was my children exercising, reading their bibles, and getting their school work done in a timely manner.

This week...well, this week has been much less energetic and as rats followed the Pied Piper out of town, my children have followed me into my 'not getting much done' mode.

So, when we see our children behaving in ways we wish they wouldn't, it is best to look at ourselves, because in all likelihood, they are just being our living mirror. On the bright side, when they do something that makes us want to beam from ear to ear, we should pat ourselves on the back...because we probably did it first.

Posted by Melissa Markham at 8:33 PM | Permalink

Spoilers ahead!!!!

We have been listening to the hype for months about Avatar. We respect James Cameron and he has done a lot of amazing cinematic events, so we were looking forward to seeing Avatar. Today, we used up one of our free 'baby sitting' coupons - more like crowd control, and went to see Avatar.

First I want to address the positive. Avatar is probably one of the most beautiful films I have ever seen. I would love to walk on a planet where the flowers and plants light up when you touch them. A place where there were 10 feet tall graceful blue cat people who lived in harmony with the world around them. A place where people literally had a connection with all around them. The people of the planet, Pandora, were like super connected Native Americans. They had these 'tendrils' in their hair that could connect them to roots of trees, and to animals. It was amazing!

Other than the amazing cinematic magic, I found myself disappointed in the film. It was full of cliches. The overall story reminded me of Ferngully which came out in 1992. The pointy ears of the fairy people in Ferngully. The fact that the fairies were in touch with the magic of the forest. The surfing bulldozer guy who changes his mind and sees the beauty of the forest and falls in love with Ferngully. And then there is the flying bat...

I am tired of going to movies and being preached at and seeing cardboard cut-outs of human beings. I go to movies to be entertained, I really didn't find Avatar that entertaining. I found it had a lot of preachiness that would make a lot of extremes happy. Man raping the planet your particular thing? It's in there. All corporate guys evil and bad? It's in there. Crazy military types that are over the top in their actions? They're in there. Native people who have all the right answers...they're in there.

Please don't get me wrong. I think we need to take care of our planet and I would be morally opposed to us going to another planet and taking over becasue we had the firepower and they had a natural resource we wanted. But this story could have been so much better...so much more interesting...so much more meaningful!

When Sigourney Weaver's character hits on the fact that everything is connected on the planet, I envisioned an end that would somehow include the 'tendrils' of the planet reaching into the earthlings and helping them to understand and see how harmony could have been achieved. Not in a body-snatching way or puppeteer way, but in a 'let us teach you' kind of way. It would have been a better story if it had had a peaceful conclusion where both sides benefitted.

There was so much potential and had it been combined with a better story, this movie would be one to talk about through the ages. Instead, it is a cinematic wonder(visually), but beauty is not enough - the story has to be striking as well. Instead this one was full of holes and cliched characters.

Posted by Melissa Markham at 6:34 PM | Permalink